Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Gift Giver A Sweet Friend

There is this friend I have. She's little and sweet. She can't help but to give, give and give some more.

She gives her ears to you as you pour out words to her; she listens. As you spill your guts not meaning to, you know her heart is all yours. And she will give it to you. For she listens to you, all while you need her to. She pours out her love for you by showing that she cares, that she's there.

She shows up at your doorstep and in her arms is a gift: A present for you. You aren't suppose to ask why, for you both now the answer: Just because I love you.

Ready and eager are her arms to share a hug. It doesn't matter if you need it or don't or "just because..." They are there just the same.

Understanding and compassionate is this friend of mine. She's there when you need her. She'll be sure to dedicate some of her time You watch her gentle, caring hands as they caress her sweet kids. You see in her eyes how proud she is of her husband. And you know that she gives herself willingly and lovingly to her family for she is the gift giver, a sweet friend.

The Tiny Quiet One

For Jessi Bear


Today I'm a baby. Tomorrow I will still be a baby. They try to tell me I'm a big girl, but they won't make one of me! They say I'm a tiny quiet odd one. I just chuckle quietly to myself. They may be right about me being tiny, but I can run just as fast as the others! I may be small, but I'm really smart and eager to learn! I may be tiny, but I talk a lot for someone my size!

As for quiet, well who says I am!? I can be really loud and wild when I want too! I never suppress a giggle. I giggle a lot; sometimes rather to loudly. There's so much to see and hear. Sometimes I just have to be quiet, for I find people very interesting. Granted, there are times where I'm being quiet and I'm not watching people. In fact, I'm avoiding them. That's because I'm rather shy..

When I'm tiered I love to sit and snuggle up with a blanket, my buddy, and passifyer while watching a movie. Everyone loves a good movie though. I especially love to be quiet with someone as we snuggle each other. Particularly my parents or older siblings.

After reading all that would you still call me odd? I can't help it if I want to continue being a baby. Besides if I was a big girl I wouldn't be the tiny quiet odd one, now would I?


Merrily With A Skip

I love how kids carry themselves. They walk confidently, knowing they run the show". I love how kids smile: They know just when you need one to brighten your day. Smiles from them are like vitamin D only in this case for the soul instead of the body.
I love how kids mispronounce words and when you try to correct them they assure you 100$ that, "Yes, is!" Yet when they grow out of those mispronunciations you feel sad. I love how kids walk, merrily with a skip, totally carefree in the world. They're so wholly and completely dependent upon you. They do not know what lies ahead in this fallen world. And so for now they walk merrily with a skip, as they look back at you with their ever trusting eyes. Yes, merrily with a skip my dear!

~Lissie Darcy

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Poetic nonsense try wandering soul

Do you ever feel like someone you're not? Like a poet. Or a philosopher. Or a stalker. Or restless.

THAT is what I am. I am restless. Searching endlessly for something, something, something. But what? I grab for solid objects to hold my body weight, which feels like led to me. I hold on and cling desperately to branches on the cliff that I know will break on me within minutes. I swim in darkness wishing, hoping earnestly-not pleadingly for the light. I walk endlessly on cheap shoes that fall apart after a few steps. I eat and drink because I am starving. I leave the table stomach full, heart longing, soul dry and empty. I gaze upon dirt and filth, longing for holiness and purity. I hear music reciting words, empty words that bring me pleasure never happiness. I delight in the temporary when the Infinite joys sit before me. I search endlessly for something, something, something. I get nothing. I achieve nothing. I see myself as nothing. I do nothing. I exist in meaningless nothingness.

For I eat and am not satisfied. I drink and my thirst is not quenched. I go and my feet lead me further away from my destination. I touch and do not feel. I speak and do not hear. I see and do not perceive. I ache and yet I am numbed by wicked pleasure. I am imprisoned. I hope because I remember He who has given me hope. AND THEN I push the hope away and it dies..or I think it does. But it does not die. It is only buried until it is dug up again. I ACHE and plead for medicine. They say, "Come to me. I have medicine that will take that ache away." And so I come and take the medicine. The ache goes away. I lie down my cheeks feverish, my soul disturbed. The medicine makes me drowsy. It dulls my senses. I can no longer remember why I was disturbed. Perhaps it was just because of the ache. But it is gone now. Hours go by and I lie there. To tired to get up, to tired to care. More hours go by. In the morning I wake up and I ACHE again! "Come with me. You should have come to me in the first place. I will give you medicine that will last longer then the last." NO NO MORE! This medicine only takes the ache away temporarily! It doesn't HEAL the ache.

Suddenly I hear a voice. Hush my Child. Be still and know that I am God. Be still and listen. Listen?..Listen..listen.. I'm listening! Go. Far away from here. Run and do not look back. Run from evil! Get away! But I'm alone! How, how!? How can I ever get away from here! They will crowd around me! They will tie me down! They will force medicine down my throat! They will eat me alive. I am with you. They cannot harm you, they will not harm you. I'm scared. What can they do to you? They can harm you, harm your body. They can physically destroy you! But your soul they cannot touch. Run. And I ran. I ran for my life. I did not look back. The darkness, the huge, vast, blackness that I thought had swallowed me whole was growing smaller. Smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller. The light the far away kingdom grew before my eyes. When I got there I had to shield my eyes for I wasn't used to the light.

I arrived. I was welcomed. I was washed by the King Himself. He clothed me with a robe as red as blood. He anointed my head with oil. He fed me water from His fountain. He used no cup, but His own hand. When I had enough He carried me up to His castle. My feet weren't used to walking on such ground. This terrain wasn't rough-it was pure. It was holy ground. You see I was used to easy terrain, filthy ground. So the King carried me up to His castle. Up, up, up. And then! Oh a huge endless table was before me! He set me down on a bench by other's that were robed. They all welcomed me warmly..as if they had known me for years. Then I remembered. I had been here before! Before I ran away, I was living here! These were my family. My brothers and sisters in Christ!!

Tears filled my eyes. How could the King still love me? After everything I had done? I looked all around me. Then there was a toast. The King rose. "My Daughter is home. Let us rejoice." And He kissed my head. I couldn't bear it. I whimpered and moaned. I was quite surprised at the sound of it. It wasn't like the moaning I had done in the fallen kingdom. Those moans were the moans of pain. This moan was the kind of moaning you do when you have laid eyes on the Holy King. I was blinded by light, by holiness, by purity, by the King. He made coverings like the angels for my eyes, and feet. And still I cried and cried. I didn't deserve it. And suddenly my soul was quieted and I was still.

Something filled me. Something I hadn't had in a long time. Something was different. MY ACHE! It was gone! I knew it wouldn't be gone for only temporarily but forever. I was filled with peace! A peace I had never experienced before! A peace that only comes from the King. I ate and drank and was full. I saw and perceived! I heard and went out to DO. I DID and it was not meaningless nothingness. It was my mission. Our mission. We went out and invited others to eat, drink and be satisfied by the King-because of the King.

I enjoyed the earthly blessings given to me. I could do it now and see that it was not meaningless because I am no longer living, and surviving for these things. I was enjoying them because the King had given them to me. I was enjoying them but not DELIGHTING in them. I delight in the King. I could do all this because I now had a purpose in life. I had hope. I had a reason to live. I am no longer a wandering soul. I have the King..or rather He has me!

~Lissie

Monday, June 14, 2010

Tired as hell

It's really bad but I have been getting 5 hours of sleep probably..? Going to bed late doing reading homework for Driver's ed class. Why you ask? Because it is Monday-Friday (unless you are scheduled to drive on a Saturday..) from 12pm-3pm. The last thing I want to do when I get home is homework, after having been at class for 3 hours. So after class until dinner is my chill out time. I usually come home do chores then lay down and listen to music and kind of rest. Or check facebook. (I've been doing really well by only getting on once a day..!! :D) (Sometimes twice..hehe..but usually vouch for once a day.)

Today I took Jonah and Jami to the park for 20 minutes because it was REALLY hot and everything was scalding (the slides and swings..etc.) so we played around for a bit but then it was unbearable. (Well it was at the point where it's the hottest time of day..) Then I kind of chilled on the couch because of lack of sleep.. Then blogged. The end. WOO. Exciting I know.

So after dinner is kitchen cleanup, put the babies to bed, pick up the house (stripping it of all the toys etc.), spend time with my Mom until Siah has (i.e. josiah) to go to bed-she usually puts feeds him, puts him down and then watches a movie on the laptop in her room.

THEN HOMEWORK. And by then it is usually 8:30pm or maybe nine. Then what I do is hang out with Jules and Jake since I don't get to see them much in the day. And THEN (ok..fine THEN) it is homework. So by then it is usually 10pm. And I'm wiped from the long day and so I end up reading realllllly slow and then it'll be like twelve and I'll snap out from my zone and decide it is bedtime.

Wake up at like SEVEN finish up any extra credit/work whatever..and get ready. The rest of the morning is me scrambling around making sure I have everything, including something to eat during class etc. And jamming out the door with my Mom.

Sorry but sometimes you got to express yourself a little deeper then "heck" or "crummy". Words like hell, crap, bullsh** (with star's...) (or I guess BS will do eh?), are necessary at such times.

I'm tired as hell. I can't wait until class is over this week. Only four more days to go. And tomorrow it'll be three. *sigh* It is only the beginning of summer and I'm tired as hell. Ha. Funny. I'd rather be tired as hell because I'm spending lots of time with my friends and family.. but whatever. The time for that will come sooner then my glum self is thinking.

If someone could sing the "Cheer up Charlie" song (from charlie and the charlie factory movie) and replace the "Charlie" with "Lissie" that'd be great, thanks.

BUT ON A LIGHTER NOTE AND A MORE ENTHUSIASTIC NOTE: I CAN'T WAIT TO DRIVE.

WOOT-FRIGGIN-WOOT!

May your days be sparkly my friends, just plain sparkly,

~Elisabeth Darcy

Declaration of Joy

Yeah so I'm pretty happy right now. Summer is here! I think it's finally here to stay. It is nice and hot out. Oh sun. I love you. On Sunday afternoon I spread out my cheery quilt that helps me get through the dreary winter: My red and yellow quilt. I spread it out on our front lawn, still in my summer dress I wore to church, sun hat on, sunglasses on, Idaho's driver's manual out, Drive right book out (from driver's ed class..these aren't my choice in reading..), ice cold glass of water, soaking up vitamin D. It felt good. Finally though, I had to go inside because it was so warm, so nice out that I thought it'd be nice to take a long sun nap on my favorite quilt ever. If we had private property I probably would've done just that..(being in a dress and all..hehe..u know..)

But I had forty vocabulary to memorize for my driver's ed vocab final. And so I memorized all forty within an hour and a half. (Well I had to write them out too..)

I did SUPER well on my quiz we got back from last Friday! And I did well on the quiz we took today!!! So happy! Hopefully my 87 will go up (which it most likely will because that's not counting extra credit) to a 90 something.. :D YES.

I'm taking driver's ed with two friends: P-nut and Sarah. Sarah sits in front of us (teacher assigned our seating..) and P-nut and I sit next to each other. Woot woot. It's bombizzle doing it with friends. If I was a lone well :( no one likes being the lone wolf.

Anyways. I have a presentation tomorrow. Should be super duper easy. Three articles on accidents and you have to tell what the driver's error is, and what they driver COULD have done to prevent the accident.

Oh and on Saturday (this last Saturday) it was such a nice Saturday!!! It was the perfect temperature out. I had my first *legal* drive with my driving instructor and P-nut. It was fun. I definitely like going 35 mph rather than 10/20 in a subdivision. *bleck*

Then Mum picked us up and we headed on over to the Flying M (bestest coffee shop everest..). We drank coffee, got jittery (..dunno why it's not like P-nut and I don't drink coffee OH yeah Mum said it was because we didn't eat lunch (in my case a *proper* lunch)), laughed at everything because we were just a little bit hyper, talked smack about our classmates *the ones that we dont know and have no connection with them/have never been in their lives before until now in class* *WHICH would be pretty much all of the class..33 students*. Ok maybe I should clarify. We didnt talk smack (the apostrophe key isnt working just so you know...) about them. We (being seated in the back row..hehe given the ability to observe/people watch) just simply stated everything weve got *figure out* about them. Example: We know who are the nerds in the class..and the girls sitting in our row whos the perfectionist (if you didnt catch it the first time Im having issues with the apostrophe key so Im giving up on trying to use it..) and whos the dumb*ist*..(as in she who makes up answers..to tests..).

Then we headed on over to this place (RIGHT NEXT to the M..) called (note the quotation marks are on the same key as the apostrophe key too..shooot me..) *The White Pine*. It is awesome! They have used books for a decent price and I found 4 books that are on my reading list that I have to buy (which I figured Id just order them off of amazon..)
  1. Gone with the Wind
  2. Count of Monte Cristo
  3. Lord of the Flies
  4. Moby Dick
Now I know what you are thinking!!! Im a slacker for not having read these already! But that is the point! I created a booklist for this year (2010..lol) consisting of some of the classics that I havent read and need to read and wanna read and should read. Get it? Got it? Good!

So anyways. I wasnt thinking that we would go to the White Pine (I was jammin out the door for class) and so I just shoved some coffee money and a little extra to buy something to eat at the M for *lunch*. I didnt bring enough money on me to be able to buy all four.. CUZ I SO TOTALLY COULDVE DUE TO THE SWUH.EET. PRICES.

I left proudly with Moby Dick though! Im trying to build my library. By that I mean buy books on my own or ask for more books on birthdays and Christmases so when I move out/or get married I have a library to bring.

Yes the amazing Woman who inspired me to do this was Aunt Lori. We were talking about hope chests one time and got on to talking about books and how she wants her daughters to leave home with a mini library of their own to begin to fill their home with books. It kind of woke me up because I realized when I leave home I want to leave with my books *with some books even to have! is a better way of putting it..*.

I have to catch up on sermons!! I missed one week because we were at a baptizim. Then I missed another week because I was helping out in Childrens church..and so now Im going to go back listen to the two missed sermons and then all the way up to this weeks sermon. I feel like I need to do that to get a full understanding. All this to say this weeks sermon was really challenging. Im now praying every day that God would give me ears to hear what Hes trying to teach me/say to me.

Ever since Naomi and Joshua came out for a visit, and they talked about (In Joshuas sermon and talking to Naomi after church..) witnessing in the every day mundane things in life. Ive been really convicted of this. Ive been really (and am still struggling and striving to be aware of this) aware that the little *mundane* things in life like having an attitude with my parents, serving my siblings, honoring my parents, dying to myself daily really DO speak out to the world of who it is I worship. Is the way Im living, in every moment of every day, saying LOUDLY that I am God's child..? I serve Him. I worship Him. AM I BEING A LIGHT to the world?

I was thinking it is kind of like love. You can say *I love you* to someone all you want but if you treat them like they are the dirt you walk on..then you obviously dont love them. It is plain and clear that actions speak louder then words.

The attitude Naomi and Joshua were encouraging us to have *SCRATCH THAT THE MINDSET..THE WAY OF LIVING LIFE FOR CHRIST* is not *lets go out and street preach for 3 hours..so I can get my witnessing in for the day..*

And that is NOT to say that the Todd Friel way (because hes who comes to mind..) is wrong. But over time it is so easy to slip into that mindset of ok I got my witnessing in for today. Kind of like how people say *Ive done my good deed for today..* As Christians it is so so easy for us to become little pharisees. The whole *holier than thou* mindset and attitude is VERY common in Christian circles. Bulls*** You Christian, are no better then the thief on the cross. You Christian, were given the gift of grace JUST like the thief on the cross was. You didnt gain Gods good favor by your good works so you can shove the little pharisee/holier than thou act up your butt. Its not going to cut the mustard and THAT isnt something God looks down upon in good favor. He didnt look at the pharisees at pat them on the back telling them to keep up the good work. In fact He wanted them to STOP working. Its not the work thats getting them to heaven. How many times did Jesus have to tell them to stop toiling endlessly!? Theres a verse that talks about how all our good works are like filthy rags in the eyes of the Lord. (See Isaiah 44:6, and also see Hebrews 9:14)

Witnessing one-on-one is NOT WRONG AT ALL. That is NOT what Im saying. What I am saying is we are not to take for granted those times where we think oh it doesnt matter no one is watching or even those times where we give in to our flesh and sin even WHEN ppl are watching-THOSE TIMES IN YOUR LIFE MATTER. Your WHOLE life should demonstrate who it is we serve.

Naomi was telling me about how her Mom has a front door garden. (It was either her Mom or Joshuas...) (SORRY THIS WHOLE SCREWED UP APOSTROPHE KEY IS BUGGING ME TOO!) And she purposefully has her vegetable garden in the front because her neighbors pass by. And when she gets a lot of basil or of some sort of vegetable, she gives some to the first neighbor who happens to walk by. And the neighbors know this since it is a habit of hers. And through this means she is able to be a light to her neighbors by engaging into conversations and whenever she can she talks about Christ-in some way. And it is always natural and in something so mundane as gardening and sharing with neighbors.

Its little things like this where we share the love of Christ in the mundane things in life!

Also Sharad and Evy had their neighbors over for dinner. Their neighbors are LDS, and when they found out that Evy and Sharad are Christians they were surprised because they werent trying to force the Gospel into them like an aggressive nanny trying to give some kids medicine. So they were really happy and appreciative that though they (APOSTROPHE WORKING AGAIN! YES!) differ, they aren't debating with them like their life depends on it. And they aren't doing the "holier then thou" act either.

And so they invited them to their community group every Thursday. (I guess their neighbors just moved here from Seattle and they don't have any friends and they don't go to their LDS church either..)

I'm really straining to hear what God is calling me to do. It's good too because I'm at that point in life where I'm still growing up and trying to figure out who I am suppose to be/where my place in this world is.

We have some neighbors that moved into a house across our street. We met the mom (who was KIND of cooky/slightly on the creepyish weird side..but still nice..) one day as we were bringing in groceries. Anyways her daughter is a single Mom who isn't a Christian (the mom is). She has 2 daughters I think that are around Jonah and Jami's age. I think at some point this week or next week I'm going to make them some chocolate chip cookies and welcome them to the neighborhood. As time goes on who knows? I may be babysitting for her? As we get to know them better we can invite them to church and stuff. We also have a house that is almost finished being built (pretty much done.) RIGHT across from ours..uhhh diagonal. So more cookies for them too once they people move in! :D

OH so as I was saying. After the White Pine we went to the Brass Razoo. And they lady there had a MARVELOUS ENGLISH ACCENT..and helped me out A TON. She was sooooooo sweet too! She told me of 4 places that are hiring and I know of one other place too so that makes 5 places to apply for!! :D Woot woot!!

OK this declaration of joy is kind of meshed around with a bunch of stuff that has been on my mind. Quit making fun of me. I know this is long. Whatevvvv.

Sunshine and Ponies,

~Lissie Darcy
Then we headed on

FYI

I do have some posts that I wrote down in my note book and haven't taken the time to type them up. They were from two weeks ago so I will be posting them and adding the date on them so you know when they were from and won't get confused.